The title of this post pays homage to a speech I wrote as a sophomore in high school for an Optimist Club Oratorical Contest. I actually ended up winning the entire state competition and a college scholarship with that speech. I’m a natural optimist as is my husband and it’s times like these that we really have to dig in and find the bright spots in tough situations.
Dan and I have very unfortunately lost the baby. Last Monday I began to bleed and went to the ER on the advice of my doctor. Although an ultrasound revealed a gestational sac with a yolk, no heartbeat was detected. I’ve spent most of last week in the Quest Medical Lab getting blood drawn to detect my hormone levels, which have steadily been decreasing. All my pregnancy symptoms disappeared as well.
I have another ultrasound tomorrow and more blood work to determine weather or not I will need a D and C. My doc doesn’t seem to think that I will. Good news.
Dan and I are dealing with it. The first few days I pretty much just wanted to curl up in a ball and not speak to anyone. I was devastated. We were really ready for this baby and excited to give own a sibling. Furthermore, we are nervous about the implications of this being our 2nd miscarriage.
Luckily, my OBGYN seems to be most wonderful doctor EVER and wants to get the bottom of whatever may be going on. When I saw him last week – remember this is the first time I’ve ever met him – he said, “So it looks like we might be losing this baby huh?” I said yes and he said “That’s bullshit.” I thought to myself, ‘You know what? He’s right! This IS bullshit!”. I will write more about Dr. Tykocki in another post. He deserves a full post.
I don’t want anyone to feel bad for us. We’re good. It is a sad situation, but we are optimistic people lucky enough to have an unbelievable network of family and friends. People have gone through tougher times than us. Besides, this gives Dan an excuse to “practice” making more babies. Whatever happens, we are blessed enough to have Owen. He makes everything better. He is our right stuff.
Thank you in advance for all of your support and well wishes. If there is one thing I have learned from blogging, it is that the support system is astonishing. I know that you are all there for us and it means so much.