Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Optimism: The Right Stuff

The title of this post pays homage to a speech I wrote as a sophomore in high school for an Optimist Club Oratorical Contest.  I actually ended up winning the entire state competition and a college scholarship with that speech.  I’m a natural optimist as is my husband and it’s times like these that we really have to dig in and find the bright spots in tough situations.

Dan and I have very unfortunately lost the baby.  Last Monday I began to bleed and went to the ER on the advice of my doctor.  Although an ultrasound revealed a gestational sac with a yolk, no heartbeat was detected.  I’ve spent most of last week in the Quest Medical Lab getting blood drawn to detect my hormone levels, which have steadily been decreasing.    All my pregnancy symptoms disappeared as well.

I have another ultrasound tomorrow and more blood work to determine weather or not I will need a D and C.  My doc doesn’t seem to think that I will.  Good news.

Dan and I are dealing with it.  The first few days I pretty much just wanted to curl up in a ball and not speak to anyone.  I was devastated.  We were really ready for this baby and excited to give own a sibling.  Furthermore, we are nervous about the implications of this being  our 2nd miscarriage. 

Luckily, my OBGYN seems to be most wonderful doctor EVER and wants to get the bottom of whatever may be going on.  When I saw him last week – remember this is the first time I’ve ever met him – he said, “So it looks like we might be losing this baby huh?” I said yes and he said “That’s bullshit.”  I thought to myself, ‘You know what?  He’s right!  This IS bullshit!”.  I will write more about Dr. Tykocki in another post.  He deserves a full post. 

I don’t want anyone to feel bad for us.  We’re good.  It is a sad situation, but we are optimistic people lucky enough to have an unbelievable network of family and friends.  People have gone through tougher times than us.  Besides, this gives Dan an excuse to “practice” making more babies.  Whatever happens, we are blessed enough to have Owen.  He makes everything better.  He is our right stuff.

Thank you in advance for all of your support and well wishes.  If there is one thing I have learned from blogging, it is that the support system is astonishing.   I know that you are all there for us and it means so much.  

26 comments:

Danielle said...

I'm sending big hugs up there for you. If you need anything, please let me know!

Tonya said...

Cat, I am so sorry! Hugging you all now!

Lisa said...

I understand how you're feeling. I've had friends who say they appreciate kind thoughts but do get tired of hearing people say 'I'm sorry...." So, to echo Dr. T (but a bit more profane), I'll add: That's f**ing bullshit and really blows.

Katie said...

I am sending big virtual *hugs* to your right now! I will keep you in my prayers that you are able to get to the bottom of what is going on and get this little boy a sibling to beat up on one day...hehe. Love to your family during this trying time.

Love what your dr. said...he just put it out there! LOVE it!

Anonymous said...

Cat - I admire your spirit. Owen is so lucky to have you and Dan as parents. I'm so glad your sister is there with you this week - sisters have a way of making things all better. Sending a great big cyber hug your way.

Candi
YaYa to Bryan

Caden and Mommy said...

Cat~
Thinking of you Dan and Owen! You are amazing - your attitude is right on, and I love how you find humor in the situation "Dan can have more practice making babies" :0) you are funny!
Keep us posted! and I hope your doctor can get to the bottom of what is going on!!!

Anonymous said...

Cat - I'm so sorry. Your outlook is something I admire in you because it makes you seem so strong! I wish I could give you a big hug. Just know, I'm thinking about you and Dan and Owen.
Love ya!
Bonnie

Becky said...

Lots of hugs from the Kiefers! I hope you can get to the bottom of what's going on, so you can have another adorable baby!

Alex said...

Sorry to rad this...
You doctor sounds like my kind of doctor though!! I am sure things will end up working out, it is unfortunately not uncommon to miscarry twice in a row :(
I am sending positive thoughts your way!!!

Destini said...

What a great doctor, gotta love the truth. It is bullshit, and I am hoping that you guys can figure out what is going on. Owen will make a great big brother one day!

Greene Family said...

We are thinking of you guys and sending big hugs! I hope that your doctor is able to figure out what is going on soon! He does sound great - love his honesty! You and Dan have great attitudes, and I'm sure Owen (such a cutie!) always helps in the getting through anything department too! It made me laugh when men would tell us that at least my hubby gets to "practice" more after we lost our first baby.

Everything Evelyn said...

The feeling of loss is the price of loving. Costly, yet worth it. Continuing to pray for the healing of hurts undeserved.

Thinking of you always,
Linda, Andy and Evelyn

Melissa Swartley said...

Cat, Dan and Owen, I am so sorry! I agree with your doc, this really sucks! I sympathize with you, I've been through this as well. Getting excited and then being disappointed so quickly really does bum ya out real bad. Hang in there! I love how Dan says he gets to "practice making more babies"! We are keeping you all in our prayers, thinkin of ya and sending you huge hugs!

Anonymous said...

Cat,
Your attitude on this is awesome! I'm sorry you're having to go through this, always remember that I'm thinking and praying for you guys. Much love to you all!


Tonya R.

Emily said...

Cat, I am so sorry for your loss. Your attitude is inspiring! I'm so glad you have the support of a wonderful doc who will do what it takes to help you. You and Dan and Owen are in my thoughts.

Jamie said...

I applaud your optimism, it is not always easy. We'll keep you in our prayers. Your doc is right, it is BS!

Jaime said...

Sending hugs to you! Hope that your doctor is able to figure out what is going on. I love his attitude - kinda sounds like my doctor! We're thinking of you!

Laura Wolf said...

Sorry to hear the sad news! Big hugs from Nate and I. You are great parents to Owen and I know there will be another little one to come:)

Kim said...

Cat,
Why I love you (even nthough we have never met-whatever details) is that you take every situation and you do try to find the good-you do try to even squeeze in some Cat humor.
Know that I am so sorry and I am giving you big hugs, but your attitude and optimism will see you through. And I know that there will be a borhter or sister for Owen somehow-and ten years from now you will want to sell them for 50 cents like I almost did this weekend with Preston.
Love you!

Leong Family's said...

Cat, I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you a lot of hugs from far away here.

mejane said...

Cat -- I'm thinking of you and your family...I can't imagine what you're going though but I'm glad that you shared this with us. Your optimism is inspiring and Owen is so lucky to have you as a momma.

meg said...

:( Sorry to hear this. Your outlook is always very inspiring. Hang in there guys.

Mike said...

Your doctor kicks ass! Meanwhile, my brother-in-law and his wife are very close to delivering their third child, but they're on their fifth pregnancy. It does suck, but it does happen, and good people come back from it. We're hoping and praying for the best for you guys!

Bobbi said...

Cat....I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope your awesome OBGYN can find out what's going on/what happened. I loved his response, BTW. I'm so inspired by your optimism and good attitude. Yeah, it sucks big time, but you'll get thru this. {{{HUGS to YOU, Dan and Owne}}}

Anthea said...

Ahhh - what do I say as I sit here with tears in my eyes remembering that same feeling of wanting to curl up in a ball when the same thing happened to me. I know all too well there is nothing that I can say that is going to make it better, but I can say I am here if you need me!

Huge big hugs to you, Dan and Owen.

Jennjilla said...

I like the dr's comment, it is bullshit! I wish there were more answers. I'm praying for y'all!